Not Tonight, Not Yet
by BlueMeansILoveYou
Summary: Chloe shows up at Beca's house at 2 in the morning with a lot to say. NOW A TWO-SHOT!
1. Chapter 1

**So, I got this idea while lounging around on my brother's bed, playing a mean game of FIFA. Don't even ask me why. So far it's a one-shot, but I might make it a two-shot if anyone's interested. **  
**That means; I'd love for you to read and review, as feedback is always appreciated.**  
**With that said:**

**ENJOY!**

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So, maybe showing up at Beca and Jesse's house at two in the morning, more than a little intoxicated, wasn't Chloe's brightest idea to date. She had thought about going there earlier in the afternoon, but she simply couldn't find the courage. It had taken several shots and lots of persuading words from Aubrey and Stacie to finally make her leave their couch and go talk to the brunette that still occupied her every thought.

"Chloe?" a disheveled Beca opened the door, rubbing sleepily at her eye with the palm of her hand. Chloe hadn't even noticed her own hand knocking on the dark wood of the door, so she just gaped at Beca in dumbfounded surprise for a moment. She then felt the slightest twinge of guilt at having woken her up at this hour.

"Uh… hi." she said weakly, her voice betraying her otherwise confident appearance. Beca looked her up and down for a minute, as if she wasn't really sure if the redhead was really there. Chloe got it, it was after all the first time she'd shown up at Beca's in a while. And it was the middle of the night.

"What are you doing here?" Beca stifled a yawn, eyes furrowed in concern as she watched Chloe sway back and forth on her heels.

"I, uh, I had to tell you something," Chloe answered, hands moving to play with the hem of her jacket, nails digging into the seams. She allowed herself to briefly glance into Beca's eyes and was met with confusion, concern and something that looked a lot like love. Not that it mattered, it wasn't going to change the situation or what Chloe was planning to say.

"Go on then," Beca urged, looking over her shoulder quickly, making sure Jesse hadn't come down to check what was going on. She turned her focus back onto Chloe, placing a hand gently on the taller girl's forearm to stop her fidgeting. A brief look of hurt flashed on her face when Chloe pulled away, taking a step back. "What's wrong, Chlo'?"

Chloe sighed deeply at the nickname, pinching the skin between her thumb and index finger to keep the tears threatening to spill at bay.

"Beca. I'm going to say something, and I want you to just stay quiet while I say it. Can you please, please promise me that?"

She looked into Beca's dark eyes as she spoke, watching the brunette nod mutely in agreement.

"Thank you," she smiled weakly, turning her eyes onto her hands, "I, uh, I had this whole thing planned out in my head, you know. It just doesn't really feel right to go for that whole speech right now. But yeah, I'm here, because there's so many things I need to tell you."

She breathed in and out deeply before she continued, still not making eye contact.

"I know I said we could still be friends Beca, but what if that was a lie? What if I'm just completely lost? I don't think I can do this Beca. Maybe one day I'll forget that I love you but, not tonight, not yet. And that's because I just know, I can feel it all the way into my soul, that I will love you for as long as I live. But I also know that if I stay here, with you, it'll kill me. I can't handle it."

She didn't pay too much attention to the fact that tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks, falling down her neck and soaking into the collar of her shirt.

"Maybe it's a mistake that I'm here. I mean, you told me you were happy. Maybe one day I'll be able to look at you again, without thinking about Jesse and how it feels like he's taken you from me, like he's taken the place that I was supposed to take. Maybe my heart won't be broken anymore, maybe someone'll be able to fix it. I doubt it though."

Beca opened her mouth to speak but Chloe lifted a hand to silence her, choking back a sob.

"I can't shake this feeling that you're the love of my life Beca. Even if I'm not yours. Do you remember back at Barden, how we'd cuddle and joke around? Before finals, before Jesse? My mind keeps going back to that time, and how well we fit together. I knew I could always count on you Beca, and I could always count on you to hold me close when things were tough. Like when you came to me after having researched more than a hundredth different methods to fight nodes, so damn proud of yourself."

Chloe was now wiping furiously at her eyes, shaking her head as a humorless chuckle escaped her chapped lips.

"And god Beca, you held me when I cried about it. I was just stupid enough to think there was actually something more than friendship behind it when you did it. I just, I remember thinking that you smelled so great, like cinnamon and falling in love. I still think you do, to be honest. Just, when I look at you now, it's not the same. Because now every single time I look at you it breaks my heart to know that you're not mine."

"Chlo-"

"You promised." Chloe silenced her quickly, not wanting to hear Beca reject her one more time. She thought back to the night she had first told Beca she loved her, the night the Bellas had sounded good for the first time, when they did that haunting mashup of Just The Way You Are and Only Just A Dream. She remembered how Beca had told her, after a brief moment of shocked silence, that she just wanted to be friends. Stupidly, Chloe had agreed.

"I think it's time I think about myself Beca. And I need to get away from here, because this place, you, it's toxic to me. I gave you everything I have, every single piece of me, but you didn't want it. So, I just came to say goodbye."

Beca wasn't sure how to react, that much was obvious. She looked much like she had when Chloe had first let her feelings be known to her. Her eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape, panic shining in her eyes. Whether it was panic at the thought that she would have to tell Jesse about this later or at the thought that Chloe was leaving, Chloe couldn't exactly tell. She desperately hoped for the later, even if she did want Beca to be happy.

"Chloe… I, uh…" Beca stammered, shifting on her bare feet. She was completely speechless. So when Chloe gave her a sad smile and turned to leave, she was unable to call out for the redhead to come back. Chloe gave her a small wave, and when Beca had finally regained her voice, she was out of sight. "Fuck."

Beca sighed heavily, shuffling back into the house. She wanted to cry, wanted to have some strong, emotional reaction to all that Chloe had just told her. Instead she just felt empty. She retreated back to her and Jesse's bedroom, finding him sitting on the bed, clearly he had been waiting for her to return.

"Who was that?" he asked, running a hand through his short locks as Beca tucked herself underneath the comforter.

"Just Chloe."

"What did she want?"

Beca forced a smile at him, hoping that he wouldn't call her out on what an obvious lie what she said next was.

"Nothing."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, it's me again. So a bunch of you guys asked me to make this a two-shot, and I am happy to comply. You guys rock. Seriously, it makes me so happy when someone reviews or favorites my stories.  
****Anyways, this was written in the middle of the night while I was on my 4th can of Mountain Dew, doing my best to keep silent as to not wake my mom. Sounds a bit pathetic, now that I think about it.**

ENJOY!

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It had been a little over a month since Chloe had left. Beca hadn't realized how much she liked having the redhead around until she was actually gone. She missed eating lunch with her on saturdays, hanging around her apartment when Jesse was being an ass, but most of all she missed the other woman's touches.

She wasn't one for psychical contact, everyone knew that. So it had surprised everyone when she had barely tried to fight Chloe when she'd hold her hand, wrap her arm around her or even just have one hand on her arm when they'd talk. She was scared to admit that she liked it, maybe even loved it.

Chloe's confession of love had come as a total surprise to her. She had thought that the redhead's more than friendly behavior around her was just her personality. Never in a million years had she thought that someone like Chloe was actually in love with someone like her. She had been so shocked that she couldn't properly comprehend what she was being told. That had led her to tell the other girl that they should just be friends, even if she later regretted it. And when she eventually did regret it, it was too late. She had gone and kissed Jesse, giving everyone the expected ending to her first year at Barden. She had chosen what was expected of her, what her friends, her dad, anyone who knew her, expected.

Jesse had, as expected, not allowed her to get away with not telling him what Chloe wanted to talk about at 2 in the morning. So they sat on their bed, talking far into the early hours of the day. She had told him about Chloe's declaration of love, her heartfelt goodbye, and how she had no idea how to react to it all. Jesse had asked her so many questions, but the one that hit her the most was:

"Well. Do you love her?"

And Beca had done what she had felt was the only right thing to do. She had told him the truth.

"Yes."

Jesse had been understanding. He even went as far as to say that he could probably have figured it out by himself, if he wasn't too busy in winning Beca over. He hadn't been angry. He had been sad, as was to be expected. The pair eventually agreed that they were always better as friends, and that Beca would give him space till he was over her. It hadn't taken as long as any of them thought it would, and within the next couple of weeks they were back to being friends.

Beca had tried to call Chloe, tried to e-mail, done anything she could think of to contact her. In the end she had to turn to Aubrey, begging the former Bellas leader to reveal Chloe's whereabouts. Initially, Aubrey had told her that she would be breaking a lot of promises she had made to her best friend if she ever told her. Yet when Beca explained to her what she wanted to do, she had given in and informed her that Chloe had packed her stuff and ran off to New York. She gave Beca the exact address and sent the brunette of with a "good luck".

So Beca had hopped on the first plane to New York, packing nothing but herself, ready to go talk to Chloe. She had spent most of the past month concerned that she was never going to see Chloe again, but had quickly decided that she would, if she had anything to say on the matter. She just hoped Chloe would listen to her.

Chloe's apartment building was quite possibly the most foul looking place Beca had ever seen. The walls were holed and dirty, the floor covered in a mix of grease and dirt. A few of the windows she had seen from the outside seemed to have been shattered, most likely by kids throwing rocks as they passed through the neighbourhood. When Beca arrived, it was nearing midnight. Maybe she should have seen it coming, but never in a million years did she expect Chloe, who was against all forms of violence, to open the door with a baseball bat in one hand and a can of pepper spray in the other.

"Jesus christ, Beca! I thought you were a burglar!" Chloe sighed, placing the bat and the pepper spray off somewhere behind her, "wait, Beca? What are you doing here? How did you even find me?"

"Aubrey gave me the address. I thought we maybe needed to talk about some things," Beca answered, feeling unbelievably vulnerable as she stood before Chloe. Was this how Chloe had felt when she came to talk to her?

"Ugh, I am going to kill her," Chloe mumbled, stepping aside and raising an eyebrow at the smaller woman, "come in then."

"Thanks," Beca breathed, rushing inside with an unnerved look over her shoulder. She stopped beside Chloe's couch, eyes roaming across the room. Except for the coffee table that Chloe was currently removing empty take out boxes from, the room seemed pretty empty. A doorway led to the kitchen, she could see just the corner of the stove, and two other doors led to what she presumed was the bedroom and the bathroom. She politely declined the redhead's offer to get her something to drink and kept standing even as Chloe sat down.

"Look, Beca, just say what you came to say so I can get back to moving on," Chloe eventually sighed, running a hand through unruly locks of fiery hair. Beca nodded mutely and looked at the floor, opening and closing her mouth to speak a few times. She finally gathered up enough courage to look at Chloe and just say what she had to say.

"I know I fucked up Chloe," she started out, sighing when Chloe just nodded, "and I am so sorry. I-I should have done things differently when you told me you loved me. I should have put myself in your shoes. If I told you I loved you and you shot me down, I don't think I could bear to carry on as friends. I was so damn selfish, pretending that it never happened. Staying with Jesse. It wasn't fair to either of you."

"Beca, I have class tomorrow. Can you please get to the point?"

"No, I can't. I have to tell you these things because otherwise you won't forgive me and you won't understand the point," Beca shook her head, closing her eyes tightly, "I was so confused when you told me you loved me. I didn't see how it was possible, and I sure as hell didn't realize that I loved you too."

Chloe's eyes shot to hers at that statement, mouth opening to say something, but eventually just opting to let Beca continue. God knows she didn't want to be interrupted during her speech to Beca, chance is she wouldn't want to either.

"I stayed with Jesse, because that was what people thought I would do, what people expected. I was too scared to tell you I loved you too, because I didn't think I could deal with the consequences. What would my dad say, Jesse, the other girls? I did not for a single moment realize that I was holding you back. I was stupid."

Chloe had her face buried in her hands, barely noticing the dip of the couch as Beca sat on the opposite end.

"But I did love you too. I've told Jesse and Aubrey. Aubrey told me that all of the other girls had noticed it too, and that none of them thought it was a big deal. I'm not scared anymore. I just really, really want you to come home. I miss you so much. I guess I didn't really realize how much I needed you til you left."

"I'm not sure what it is you're telling me right now Beca," Chloe said quietly, removing her hands as she looked towards Beca. She didn't make eye contact but instead just stared at the brunette's knee while she spoke.

"I'm telling you that I want to be with you. That I want to give us a shot," Beca's voice was soft as she spoke, her fingers playing with her right sleeve as she waited for Chloe's response, "and that I love you."

"I love you too," came the whispered reply, their eyes finally meeting. Chloe smiled genuinely through rapidly forming tears, tears she wasn't sure why were there.

"I know."

They looked at each other for a second, soaking in the love present between them. Chloe reached for Beca's fidgeting hands, leaning towards the petite woman in the process. Beca closed the gap between them, resting their foreheads together and letting their breaths mingle.

"I want us to be together Beca," Chloe whispered, her eyes locked onto Beca's.

"Then we're together," Beca breathed, eyes moving to Chloe's lips as she felt the need to lock them with hers grow stronger.

Chloe let out a small laughter as she removed her hands from Beca's and moved one to her waist, the other to her neck. Her heart swelled as Beca moved hers to her cheeks without hesitation, stroking her cheekbones softly. Their lips finally connected, slowly and lovingly. There was no need to rush, no need to go further just yet. When they finally parted, both slightly out of breath, they beamed at each other.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

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**So, once again thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited or followed and whatnot. Hope you're happy that Beca didn't end up with Jesse 'Stupid Face' Swanson after all ;)**

If you liked this story I'll hope you'll be as kind as to read some of my other stuff and let me know what you think. Feedback is like candy, and I sure do love candy!

**- H **


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